What Does the Bible Say About Discipling Our Children?
Hey Lovelies💕
First off, let’s just say, parenting no matter how it is done, is hard! It’s EXTREMELY refining!
I mean I’ve heard that parenting does not have to be HARD as long as we center Jesus in our parenting, but I feel like I haven’t gotten to that point, YET!
This world is definitely no help with a million and one ways to parent and discipline your child. So, is it even worth referencing the world? Nope. I don’t think so.
But, let’s get into it and how this even became a topic for me.
My husband and I have three children. The eldest being a 3.5 year old and the youngest being 1 year old twins. Honestly, it’s great but sometimes it’s really really rough because we noticed that we CONSTANTLY are “correcting” and “reprimanding” our eldest that it seems to be the only things coming out of our mouths. While, we also are praising our babies for everything.
Eventually, Yelling at him did nothing, time -out became a game, worst of all…he started to do things purposely.
This made us really think, cry, and pray. Realizing we are doing this all wrong.
We are hurting our child.
We broke down so badly at the thoughts of how we hurt our first baby.
When we break…where do we need to look? To God!
First, we are reminded of who WE are. We are CHILDREN of God, who continues to pour out his love, grace, and mercy on us. So, we should extend the same to our own children. Because every relationship is a reflection of the one we hold with our God.
So this big question is…
How can we correct our son's behavior without turning him away and questioning our love?
Love him like Jesus loves us!
One of many Bible verses says this,
“Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.”Proverbs 13:24
Let’s break it down.
If you’re not willing to disciple your child then you are just leading him to death because a parent who loves their child is willing to lead their child to life through correction and refinement.
The word DILIGENT means:
diligent | ˈdiləj(ə)nt |
adjective
having or showing care and conscientiousness in one's work or duties:
SHOWING YOUR CARE IN THE MOMENT
Next, the word DISCIPLINE means:
discipline | ˈdisəplən |
noun
1 the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience:
We as parents must first TRAIN (teach) our children the expected behavior.
We can’t expect our children to know how to behave when we never actually TAUGHT them how to behave in each situation.
As parents, we look at our children as they get old and think “oh, they should know how to act. OR “I know he/she understands because sometimes they listen and sometimes they don’t”
First off, if the issue is developmental. That’s the first problem because we forget to realize that our children do not think or process situations as we do. They are still learning things that seems like “common sense” to us, but ITS NOT to them! Because instead of helping them, we end up hardening their hearts.
Conclusion:
-Be reminded of where our children are developmentally
-With CARE, TEACH what is expected
-Give them some time to understand
-When the behavior is not followed at first, extend some patience and grace to your child like the Lord does for us and TEACH again.
-Be the example you expect of your children.
-lastly, punishment is required for disobedience. Im not saying beat your kid. Im saying this would be the time for “time out” or “taking away fun for the time being”.
-Do all of this in LOVE and not in POWER
These are the steps my husband and I will continually be taking in parenting/disciplining our children.
Just after a few days of implementing the biblical way of disciplining, changes are already noticeable.
God works in every situation!
Like everything else, I pray that this post blesses you and your family!💕
So much love,
Ki’ari
Taking Over Postpartum Depression
Postpartum Depression may have a hold on you but it is NOT you! Your beautiful self is in there somewhere. Here’s how I took my life back and how you can too!
You gave me joy for mourning
Now hope is my testimony
Post Partum Depression AKA “The Thief That Steals Motherhood”
A chemical imbalance, a state of mind, the devil, depriving women of the joy that new life brings…
That definitely seems like a devil move to me!
Post Partum Depression (PPD) is described as moderate to severe depression occurring during the first year after birth and within the first 3 months (Hutchens & Kearney, 2020).
An estimated 13% to 19% of childbearing women will experience PPD, making it the most common morbidity related to childbirth. That means about 520,000 to 760,000 women suffer PPD EVERY YEAR! (Hutchens & Kearney, 2020).
I, Ki’ari, am part of the 13-19% of women that have played a victim to postpartum depression and anxiety.
Like me, you are not alone in your battle. There is someone who understands you! There is a God that knows your heart and completely understands you without you needing to try to explain.
First, I want you to know that he cares deeply for you and wants to be the source of your joy.
“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow – not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love”. -Romans 8:38 NLT
First Thing
The first thing to do for yourself is claim the Lord’s promises to you! He will never leave you, nor forsake you. He promises peace, joy, and everlasting love.
Tell yourself everyday, over and over as many times as you need to, “I AM NOT MY ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION, IT WILL NOT HOLD ME!”
Give It All To God
Everyday I cried. Everyday I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Everyday I felt like less than enough. I snapped constantly. I couldn’t think clearly. I wanted to do everything for my son because I felt that was all I was good for, if that!. I had to leave the room if someone tried to care for my son because I wanted to scream and cry. I did not know why I felt the way I did. I did not understand it. I looked at my husband like he was my enemy. I gave him the worst version of me, I blamed him. Nobody understands me and I can’t conjure up the words to try to explain myself. I prayed and prayed for God to stop everything, it was becoming too much. I was in a deep black hole that I could not see a way out of. I was broken.
That's where I was less than two years ago.
“Cast All your anxiety onto him because he cares for us” - 1 Peter 5:7
Mama, you do not need to hold on to all of that hurt and anxiety, give it to GOD because he does not want that for you. Do it for YOU!
It takes time but you will make it out. God has an everlasting abundance of love, strength, courage, and joy that you can forever draw from.
Do Something For You!
You are more than a mom, a daughter, a sister, a wife, you are YOU! So do the things that make you feel good. Do it because you love yourself. Start small because I know it is hard.
Give yourself the love and attention that you give your children. I started with long hot showers at night after putting my son to sleep. It became my thing. My relaxation, my self-love time.
Get Outside, the fresh air seems to have a soothing effect on the mind.
Don’t feel bad for taking your child to a safe place so that you can breathe. God gave us breath for a reason, it has healing properties.
Don’t give yourself a hard time because you did not have the energy to cook, clean, or give your husband attention.
Those around you benefit the most when you are taken care of.
Once a week, if you can, start your day the way that you want to.
My favorite kind of mornings include, a spot on the couch by the window, silence, a hot cup of coffee, and getting some real time spent with the Lord and his word.
Get the Help You Need
First off, it is okay to take medicine to help get a leg up.
I hated the thought of needing any medication but I was so tired, burnt out, sick of feeling the way I was, I needed help. It is not a permanent solution, it's just meant to be a stepping stool.
Talk to someone about what is going on physically, emotionally, and mentally because it has the potential to make a difference.
Celebrate The Little Wins
Depressed or not, everyday is not always going to go as planned but those hard days tend to hit much harder when you are depressed.
Trust me, I understand!
Recognizing your little wins can be a very powerful weapon against depression’s negativity.
Know that just because today was not the best, does not mean that tomorrow will be the same.
Be proud of yourself for every little goal that you accomplish and watch how far you go!
Remind Yourself
You are not alone.
You are enough.
You are not your anxiety and depression.
You are deeply loved and cared for.
This is not the end.
Great is God’s faithfulness.
There is no emptiness that he will not fill.
So Much Love,
Kiari
From The Ashes You Make Beautiful Things
References
Hutchens, B.F. and Kearney, J. (2020), Risk Factors for Postpartum Depression: An Umbrella Review. Journal of Midwifery & Women's Health, 65: 96-108. https://doi.org/10.1111/jmwh.13067